Saturday, April 10, 2010

Spreading the Good Word

A few years back my good friend Mother Theresa and I were slammin some beers at one of her favorite pubs. After a few shots of Jagermeister she slurred, "Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.
As you know each week I put out a little message for the passerbyer's on Highway 1.
My inspiration comes from many sources.
But my words always come from the heart and soul of Carlos.
On my last day at the pharmacy I was working at in Fort Bragg, I ran into a customer who I knew lived in Westport. His name is Mike Cutino. A crazy cool guy who rides a jet ski over the dangerous waves of the ocean, sometimes 20 foot swells. Soon the Discovery channel will be doing a feature story on his hobby and possibly put Westport on the map before I do.
While discussing Westport, I told Mike where I lived. He said," So are you the guy with the whale?" I said yes. "And you make the signs?" I said yes again, this time I was a bit more apprehensive. He said...."We call your place The Church"
"And we call you The Roadside Prophet!"
That will be the name of the book I am making of all the signs.
The son of Carlos was born today & the Evil Empire strikes again!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009


Happy Holidaze to all my Friends and growing number of Enemies. Another year has passed. CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW MANY AMAZING THINGS I'VE DONE? me neither. ...Everyone knows I love giving presents, but unfortanetly I cant wrap any this year as I've decided to become a Jehovah Witness. I've just started training for the new religion so I can still ACCEPT gifts but cant give any out. BUMMER, but I will promise to be your friend for one more year. When you send me something DO NOT ASSUME I WILL REMEMBER YOU!!! so please include your name, photo and a short story on how great it is to know ME. TIS THE SEASON! and I accept Pay Pal.
For the many Gift Givers in my life who practically have an anxiety attack on what to get the guy who has EVERYTHING except a small penis... here is this years Santa List : (Drum Roll please!) ....Red Licorice, cement mix, Moonwalk, KY-Jelly (mine grew mold from inactivity), Graphic Designers, Cheap Wine, Partners in Crime, Golden Fluid Acrylic Paint - Carbon Black (do not screw that up), magic mushrooms, A cure for prolonged erections, A bigger sailboat and a submarine, Blue and Gray tiles, 8 x 10 pictures of ME, Lucky Charms, Renuzit for when you visit, 2 Body Guards, sexy girlfriends, One Hitter, apology from a Certain Fuck-Up and a Year of my Life Back, Bitter Mints, 65 Chevy C-10 shortbox, Clone of ME, Better Art Reviews, Snowglobes, Less Drool, More Action, Garanimals, A funner Job, Madonna to quit calling me, Underground Circus, Large Bills, Narcassitic Pleasure, personal pan pizza, and MY NAME IN LIGHTS!
Every New Year I try to make Resolutions on how I can Improve My Friends. But it is a Lost Cause. I am redirecting my Energies into something more meaningful... ME! Its brilliant and wish I would have thought of this years ago! A Temple will be erected with several Gold Leafed Statues in MY image to Worship. Open 24 hours for those who Dream of ME in the Moonlit hours.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Goble Goble!

Thanksgiving is the Best Holiday Ever! U'd have to be Stupid NOT to think so!!! Unless you have a Shitty Family (or Friends). I love the Grocery Outlet & "Stuffing" LOTs of Food in my itty-bitty MOUTH! (medical diagnosis = Tapeworm) I also like Left overs because they taste better than Cereal. I'm a Closet Vegetarian (sorry girls) but weaken for a Butterball. Hurray for HOT Dogs! I also eat anything Pumpkin. UPDATE: Cranberries (a special holiday treat) prevent UTI's but no cure for that Nasty Itch. I'm NOT having Dessert. I found a Pubic Hair in Grandma's Crumble last year! YUm. Thanks and Give to ME!

Thursday, August 13, 2009


Polly Harrold's stuck her head outta her Hut...
and proclaimed her new Art Territory!
The rebirth of The Sometime Gallery has finally arrived!
Carlos Amigos has outdone himself again!
Sharing his sensitive side.
His paintbrush has Turrets!
Words of Wisdom to be shared with the World.
not to mention the Waffle and Smoothie Extravaganza!
Its just past the bamboo garden, next to the maple syrup, behind the blender!
Just listen for the gunshots buzzing up and down the driveway!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Sometime Gallery - Roadside Attraction Fundraiser!

Dear Friends and many Enemies!

A fund raiser for the Westport Whale sponsered by my Pal and Visionary Extraordinare... Polly Harrold!
Proprietor of the Sometime Gallery

This Emotionally Charged show was made just for YOU!
Dedicated to all the Lovers and Haters of Carlos Amigos!
Its the usual highly personal text related work with a few suprises for the Outspoken, Dreamers, Romantics, Sugarless Lovers, Hooker Waitresses, Sexy Swabs, Twisted Sista's, Michael Jackson Fans, Broken Hearts, Star Chasers, Teenage Whores, Adventurers of the World and Swank Bastards like ME!
Are you Down to be Open?
I'll show you Mine if you show me Yours.
Let Go!
Jump In!
There's Beauty in the Breakdown!
512 Wickson Avenue @ Rand
Oakland CA 94610
The little gray cottage at the top of the drive
July 31st!
7:00 Cocktails
8:00 Dinner
$15 donation Demanded for Cement Mix!
broken tiles, mirrors or old dishes will be accepted

Friday, July 10, 2009

Westport Store gets a new look from Carlos!

From Old to New....
Brighter days and more Positive Future!

Marie is my Friend, Therapist, Grocer and Owner of the Westport Store. I cant even begin to tell you what she gives to Westport. But I hope someday I can give her back as much joy and happiness as she has given to me.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Carlos Amigos in the News!

The Evil Empire makes it into the local paper!
See the Westport Article here!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Have a Holiday

Happy Holiday of your Choice to all my friends and enemies around the World!

Hoping everyone is enjoying daily celebrations. OH, THERE IS SO MANY THINGS TO TELL YOU ABOUT! My life is better than ever and I'm trying hard not to look so Dead. This year has just flown by and I cant believe how many AMAZING things I've done to make this world a better place. HALLELUJAH to me!!.. I made so many new friends that I like (hi) and everyone fills my artificial heart with happiness!... Lacy, my dog is hobbling around and drooling on everyone she meets. I still enjoy the Ocean Air one week and live on my crappy sailboat the next. And I even had time to decorate my Motorhome too (see above). Still trying to find my path in Life and enjoying all the treasures and tragedies I experience along the way. Ummm... did I tell you I am pharmacist of the year at my little drug store in Fort Bragg! Overall my life is neat except I dont hear from you enough!

Each year all of my friends stress about what to get the boy who has EVERYTHING! So I feel it is my duty to simplify it for all the peoples in my life that need to buy me something.

Here is a brief list:

Ritalin, Cookies, Handjobs, red licorice, Cynthia Plastercaster "artwork", slip on blue and white checkered Vans (size 10.5) or vintage motorcycle boots, Ambition, Quiet Riot poster, Tanning Booth, Fleshlite, sleeping pills, the Sada Abe autobiography, a wood beaded seat cover, Deodarant for YOU to put on when you come over to visit me, sexy underwear, A High Five, Blindfolds, Fame, Parker Posey T-shirt, a cool bumper sticker for my truck, Whistle and Mace in case I get raped and dont want to be, Breath Mints and Lube, chocolate, air fresher spray for when you come over and use my bathroom, a barrel full of money and nicer friends.
Please send to:
37060 N Hwy 1
Westport CA

New Years resolutions....

OMGosh! I really need any Improvements???...
I am going to learn to cook a meal so i can have you over for dinner.
I'm going to lose weight by vomiting up my lunch everyday.
I'm going to learn some more magic tricks.
I am going to get a catheter so i can use my time more wisely.
I'm going to get cooler friends.
I am going to help the poor and needy (but not you!)
I am going to answer a few of my fan letters.
I am going to help my friends by pointing out their biggest flaw.
Im going to remember to take my antipsychotic pills

Warmish Wishes
Carlos Amigos

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Christmas...Westport Style!

The Christmas lights were hung by the chimney with care
by Me and my main Elf Fernando!
I love my little blacksmith shop
and all those who made it so special this past year!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

A Night of Musical Suprises

August 9th
7pm til late
2875 Glascock st
Oakland CA

A Night of Musical Suprises

I'm asking all of you to make a mix CD and burn 6 additional
copies of it. I'll load all the music into my MAC and project the
sounds throughout my empty loft on the Oakland estuary.

Enjoy the tunes while you chow down on some delicious grub made
by my friend and chef extrodinaire Tom Cohen

If you hear something you like you have the opportunity to go
home with 6 new CD's

Please bring the libation of your choice and gifts for me.
Or a funny story.
Or a funny friend if you are not funny.

A TEN dollar Donation is requested for Open Door Mission
This homeless shelter provides so many great things to the people
of Oakland. They give sleeping bags, haircuts, rides to the
courthouse, medical care, food, etc. The shelter is not government funded
and runs solely on the donations given by the public

Art and Entertainment will also be making a special appearance

Carlos Amigos

Monday, May 26, 2008

420 Gallery June 7/8 and 14/15

420 Gallery
420 Peterson
(between Glascock and Ford)
Oakland, CA
July 7 and 8 and 14 and 15
gallery hours: 11am to 5pm
(there is no phone so please do not call)

This is going to be my GREATEST show ever!

There are other artists in the gallery too. MINE is the BEST!

We are going to sell T-shirts. I am going to drink beer all day.

I can't wait to see you.

There is NO bathroom.

The Sometime Gallery

Open Sometimes
Located on the edge of East Oakland in the Dutch Boy Studios
A now-and-then atelier for art with views of sky, trains, and transit
View my complete profile

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Opening Tonight: 7:00
Welcome to My Evil Empire! Over 100 works by three artists are hanging, cheese has been purchased; the white carpet, vacuumed. Sometime Improvements for this show include postcards, a hammer drill, and lighting. The Gallery is Open and I have laid in some Hamm's. Tonight only: artist autographs, pocket magic, hair combs, cat photography, goat rides, balloons for children. C U, here.Shown: Works by Daniel Dienelt. Photographic encaustic collage; $150 - $275
Posted by A now-and-then atelier for art with views of sky, trains, and transit at
7:46 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Welcome To My Evil Empire: Paintings, Photographs, and Signs
New works by Beth Grundvig,
Daniel Dienelt, and Kyle SilerMay - June 2008ARE YOU READY TO ROCK???Of course you aren't. I'm not ready to rock. I have an art gallery to run.ARE YOU READY TO COME TO A KILLER ART SHOW?Yeah? Well ok! 'Cause I'm having one!KILLER ART SHOW ARTIST'S RECEPTIONTHURSDAY MAY 22.7:00WELCOME TO MY EVIL EMPIRE: Paintings, Photographs, and SignsNew works by Beth Grundvig, Daniel Dienelt, and Kyle SilerI am so excited to host the work of these three artists in the gallery. So excited I brought out the italics!!!

Overjoyed at the Underpass: Beth Grundvig's stark and realistic urbanscapes are the empty spaces, ends of streets and alleys, the undersides of freeways, dumpsters, puddles, bricks, and beams, building-size and still, life. They're skillfully executed pastels in polaroid color. Wait til you see her twelvetych. Beth's studio is in Emeryville.

I envisioned abstract photography as working well with Beth's pieces, and
Daniel Dienelt, an artist in Fort Wayne, Indiana was suggested. I appreciate Daniel's willingness to participate from across the country. Daniel's photography gets manipulated and worked, digitally and physically, through collage and encaustic wax. He frequently shoots with experimental cameras and techniques. I like his sense of composition and subject matter: buildings and skateboarding.

Kyle Siler is an evil genius and if you don't believe it just ask him. No really, do. Kyle's work is the ping and pong of lost and found, sweet and vulgar, profound, banal. It's also hanging from my ceilings, an arch wave of wooden wrath n' luv, and he keeps bringing more. You can check it out here, shot on location in scenic Westport, CA, but be careful because there are some dirty words.

THE GALLERY IS OPENThursday, May 22: Reception for the Artists7:00 - 10:00Wednesday, May 28: Hosting
Dorkbot SFSaturday and Sunday, June 7 - 811:00 - 5:00(Also East Bay Open Studios)Saturday and Sunday, June 14 - 1511:00 - 5:00(Also East Bay Open Studios)Closing Reception: June 17

Other events TBA.GETTING HERE:BY CAR: Google's directions are incorrect; take San Leandro South at High.BY BART: Fruitvale is the closest; it's a $6 cab ride and worth it at night or walk with friends.BIKE: Ride your bike fast and wear a helmet.Look for a sign Park on the street stroll to the rear step up three flights.In the Big Green Building at the Dutch Boy: 4701 San Leandro Street, in rockin' East Oakland, 94601. (510) 536-6970
Posted by A now-and-then atelier for art with views of sky, trains, and transit at
8:18 AM 1 comments
Saturday, May 17, 2008